When Your Husband Asks Where Something Is Before He Actually Looks for It

“Sweetie, where's the mustard?”

“In the refrigerator.”

“I don't see it.” Of course you don't. 🙄

Because apparently “looking” means opening the refrigerator door, standing there for five seconds, and waiting for the mustard to introduce itself.

So I get up. Walk into the kitchen. Open the exact same refrigerator. Look on the shelf.

And there it is. The mustard. Right where I said it was.

Not hidden behind anything.

Not pushed all the way to the back.

Not disguised as something else.

Just sitting there being...mustard. I hand it to him. And then comes my favorite part:

“Oh.” OH?! 😳 Sir, I need more than an

“oh.”

I need an acknowledgment that I have just performed a miracle. Because this phenomenon isn't limited to mustard.

“Where are my keys?” “On the counter.” “I don't see them.” "They're on the counter."

“Where's my blue shirt?” “In the closet.” “I looked.” Apparently not. 🤦🏽‍♀️

Sometimes the missing object is practically sitting in front of him. And yet somehow I possess a special ability to walk into a room and locate it within seconds.

I don't remember applying for this position.

There was no interview. No orientation. No benefits package.

Yet somewhere along the way, I apparently became the household Director of Search and Rescue.

And apparently, I'm always on call.

Now, to be fair, I'm sure there are things I do that make my husband wonder how I've managed to function all these years.

That's marriage.

You spend enough years together, and eventually you become intimately familiar with each other's little habits.

You know how the other person takes their coffee.

You know what they're going to order at certain restaurants before they say it.

You know which story they're about to tell when company comes over.

You know the look that means, Don't say it.

And you definitely know who's going to be called when something in the house mysteriously disappears.

Some habits are sweet. Some are endearing. Some make you laugh. And some make you stand in the kitchen holding a bottle of mustard, wondering whether the person you married has ever actually opened a refrigerator before. 😆

But I already know how this story ends. The next time I hear: “Sweetie, where is...?”

'm going to pause. I'm going to breathe. I'm going to resist the urge to immediately get up.

And I'm going to lovingly ask: “Did you actually look?”

He will say yes. I'll ask again. “Did you really look?” He'll assure me that he did.

Eventually, I will get up. I will walk over. And whatever he's looking for will probably be exactly where I told him it was.

I'll hand it to him. And he'll say: "Oh.” Of course he will.

Because marriage is sometimes loving someone deeply while also wondering how they would ever find the mustard without you. 😂

And somehow, years later, you keep answering the question.

You keep getting up.

You keep finding the keys, the shirt, the mustard, or whatever else has mysteriously vanished in plain sight.

Because underneath all the little things that drive us crazy are also the little things that make a marriage ours.

And I have a feeling that somewhere in our house, my husband could probably make a list about me too.

But this is my blog. He can get his own. 😂

If you've ever found something for your husband that was sitting RIGHT THERE...

You know That Feeling.

Where real life is spoken out loud.

Married ladies, what's the funniest thing your husband couldn't find even though it was right there?